Proverbs 31:10- It is hard to find a good wife, because she is worth more than rubies.
The Nelson’s New Illustrated Dictionary says, “Rubies are the rarest and most precious of all jewels. Thus, they serve in the Bible as an appropriate standard for comparing other things that are even more precious (wisdom, knowledge, a good wife, etc).” Have you ever wondered why a “Good Wife” is considered so rare and precious? If you take a look at what scripture says about being a good wife, you will soon realize that it is very hard to live up to the expectations and standards of a Biblically Based “Good Wife”.
Hard, but NOT impossible.
Psalm 128:3 says of the man who fears and loves the Lord, “Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine”. What does this mean? Matthew Henry explains it, “The vine is a weak and tender plant, and needs to be supported and cherished, but it is a very valuable plant, and some think (because all the products of it were prohibited to the Nazarites) it was the tree of knowledge itself. The wife’s place is the husband’s house; there her business lies, and that is her castle… She shall be a loving wife, as the vine, which cleaves to the house-side, an obedient wife, as the vine, which is pliable, and grows as it is directed. She shall be fruitful as the vine, not only in children, but in the fruits of wisdom, and righteousness, and good management, the branches of which run over the wall (Gen. 49:22; Ps. 80:11), like a fruitful vine, not cumbering the ground, nor bringing forth sour grapes, or grapes of Sodom, but good fruit.”
Proverbs 12:4 says, “A good wife is like a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful wife is like a disease in his bones.” The Woman’s Study Bible suggests that “crown to her husband” means that she helps him realize his potential. He is honored and respected by others when he has a good woman encouraging him and helping him meet his goals, and meet the needs of the household. On the other hand, “the shameful wife will drag her husband down all his days, and he will never command respect nor win influence in the community. To have such a wife is like enduring an infestation of maggots in the bones. It is a horrible irritant and a fatal disease.” (Woman’s Study Bible)
Is it so hard to believe that these standards are relevant for today?
Just as the husband has expectations to love, honor, and cherish his wife, so the wife must honor, respect, and submit to her husband. Why? Because God said we should. Our husbands become better husbands, fathers, sons, and friends when they are encouraged, loved, respected, and trusted by the women in their life. And if you want your husband to meet your needs, and be there for you, try praying for him. God wants you to remember that it is HE who meets our needs, not our spouses, or anyone else.
Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, yield to your husbands, as you do to the Lord”. And Colossians 3:18 says, “Wives, yield to the authority of your husbands, because this is the right thing to do in the Lord”. And verse 23, “In all the work you are doing, work the best you can. Work as if you were doing it for the Lord, not for people. Remember that you will receive your reward from the Lord, which he promised to his people. You are serving the Lord Christ. But remember that anyone who does wrong will be punished for that wrong, and the Lord treats everyone the same.”
The point here is “In the LORD”. God doesn’t want you being a good wife for your sake, or for your husband’s sake. He wants you doing it for HIS sake. Because it is the RIGHT THING TO DO. We are to be good wives for God. And if our husbands choose not to be good husbands, God will deal with them. Sometimes being a good wife means sacrifice and suffering. And God sees your suffering and will reward you. 1 Peter 3:13 says, “If you are trying hard to do good, no one can really hurt you. But even if you suffer for doing right, you are blessed.”
Remember 1 Peter 2:12, “Live such good lives that they will see the good things you do and will give glory to God on the day when Christ comes again.” We are called to minister to our own families- even our own husbands. Do not lose faith. God is calling each and every one of us to trust, obey, and seek God. And when our lives are living in faithful obedience to Christ and His Word, it is a testimony to others. And sometimes it even convicts our husbands.
“In the same way, you wives should yield to your husbands. Then, if some husbands do not obey God’s teaching, they will be persuaded to believe without anyone’s saying a word to them. They will be persuaded by the way their wives live. Your husbands will see the pure lives you live with your respect for God. It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. No, your beauty should come from within you—the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit that will never be destroyed and is very precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:1-4